Dilemma

"Ask till you understand, without assuming. Humility seeks, the ego assumes."-Dato Vijay Eswaran





In the Deadly Dynamics of Power class (DDP), the first lesson the students learn to be a person of magnetic influence and of persuasive control is to stop judging, criticizing, gossiping and condemning people places, situations conditions or things.

Have you ever experienced, where you are with your friends having a good time and talking about things when suddenly, somebody starts talking about a person and starts telling bad things regarding a certain person? And after a few days you meet this person and you act a ‘little awkward’ towards this person right?

Another is this, have you ever listened to a gossip about a person then when you meet this person it turns out that he/she is not a bad person after all? And you guys become the best of friends. Funny right? But it happens.

The same thing goes for places, condition, situations or things. I mean, how many of you have heard a negative story about a place, situation, event or thing? And when you got there you just can’t help but admire what you see?

How many of us have seen this picture?

One country will spread bad news about one country.

One church will destroy another church.

One company will spread bad things about another company.

One TV station will make negative publicity about another TV station.

One team will bad mouth another team.

One speaker will “make patama” about another person.

One family will criticize another family.

One neighbor will gossip about another neighbor.

One friend will spread gossip about another friend.



How many of us have been in this dilemma?

“Seek first to understand then to be understood.”-Stephen Covey

The whole of mankind is doing this judging, criticizing, gossiping and condemning. That’s why the whole world is always into misunderstandings. Most especially people with low self-esteem and insecure are the ones who do this most of the time.  It’s a vicious cycle.


And not because everybody is doing it, it’s right. That’s why we are here to learn, to improve ourselves. If you have been doing this for the pass days, months or years. Don’t worry I have good news for you. You can change right here, right now.


Never mind if your friends are judging, criticizing, gossiping, condemning and opinionated. Can’t you not act with class? And stop yourself now, from indulging in negative conversations. And begin to talk only about things that will prosper you, that will uplift you, that will inspire you, that will motivate you do more good things.

Realize that the path to personality development is nothing but detail. It is the person who has the consciousness of detail, who leaves no stone un-turned  who will discipline herself, who will realize that it is the small victories 'the little things' inch by inch won in consciousness that make the final victory.

A true student of life only need to focus on the betterment, perfecting and the development of its own self in all areas and not mind what another individual is doing(like will you get any thing beneficial talking about another person's affairs?). 

That means just to mind your own business and focus on improving your own life because, there is always enough room for improvement. If the time and energy alone spent in talking about the affairs of another be spent in dealing and improving with your own personal life, wondrous transformation can take place.

"Lesson #2: Learn To Mind Your Own Business."-Robert Kiyosaki, Rich Dad Poor Dad

Either you speak about positive things or just shut up. You can’t change other people you can only change yourself. So start with yourself.

This has a double edge sword effect to you.

When you speak about negativity and the things you don't like (even mild dislike) you attract more of that in your life. (no wonder some people still have the same problems showing up over and over again) because they keep talking about it. I have experienced it in the past and I’m guilty of it. It’s a long hard road my friends, towards self-improvement that’s why these days I just shut up if I got nothing good to say.

On the contrary, when you speak positivity and the things you do like, you attract more of it in your life. That’s what’s great about it. So if you are talkative, you have an edge. :)

“You get more of what you focus on.” -Paul McKenna

A lot of relationships could have turned out to be a fruitful one, if only people would stop judging, criticizing, gossiping and condemning other people. I mean a lot.

Most relationships are ruined through judging, criticizing, gossiping and condemning true? Yeah, I know. Been there.

And a person of influence and True Power who is not insecure could not have any preconceived idea about people, places, and conditions. It ruins the entire experience of being in the moment, which is not worrying about the future or the past but living in the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Prejudging a person, place, condition or thing is like talking to everyone about the latest movie that you’ve just watched because you were able to watch it earlier on a premier night. Then these people you told the story to, got nothing to expect anymore because you ruined the element of surprise by telling them the whole story. It sucks!

So, the next time you hear somebody talks about a movie, business, a book, a religion, ghost, aliens, or what ever it is that you don't have an idea. Understand that, you have to allow your ego to be on the side lines and listen or do your research on a subject before you shut it out. God gave us two ears and one mouth to do more listening than talking.

Like a child that couldn’t care less of what could happen if he touch the flame of the candle and when the child gets burned that’s the only time he will know not to touch the flame.

Same goes for relationships and other things in life just go ahead and make friends, fall in love, travel, attend that seminar, watch that movie. And let the chips fall where they may.

Don’t tell people what to expect with a person, let people think for themselves, let them experience it, because that is the best teacher, experience.




“You can’t throw mud at others without dirtying your hands first.”-Master Delpe



From my experience I’ve observed carefully that True leaders or Alpha males are comfortable with themselves. They don’t give a damn about other people. They choose to live their lives by example not by talking about other people.

I remember my dad when I was a little boy I was asking him what he can say about our neighbor who always fight because, I could hear their loud voices everyday as they shout at each other. My dad just shrugged his shoulder and said “Mind your own business anak. Worry about your problems and pagbutihin mo buhay mo and let God deal with our neighbor.” Makes sense.

In our class THE MYTH we discussed about social conditioning and we learned that people are social creatures and they love to relate and share their thoughts. This is a weakness and also their strength.

Just like the paperclip principle. You can use a paperclip to clip a paper(benefit) or open another person's car(harm).

You can choose to talk about negativity about a person or you could choose to talk about good things, happy things, things that makes life exciting and colorful. Things that will improve your life and their life. And it will all start with you.

“The most vital thing in human activity is the necessity of positively refusing to sit in judgment on the activity of another human being. To condemn, criticize, or feel curiosity in the affairs of another, except to wish them God-Speed and that all is well, is not permissible for the real student of life, who sincerely wishes to reach the highest attainment.”-Unveiled Mysteries